Alyssa Tsagong: Navigating Metastatic Breast Cancer and Honoring the Friends Who Walk Alongside Us

— By Gina Rich

March 25, 2025

“Control is an illusion,” says Alyssa Tsagong. It’s a truth she has learned to accept as she lives with metastatic breast cancer.

Initially diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer in 2019, Alyssa learned in 2022 that her disease had spread to her bones and liver. “Doctors were honest with me and said, ‘We really can’t give you a prognosis until you’ve been on a treatment and have a scan in like five months,’” says Alyssa, a Wisconsin mother of two.

Alyssa’s medical team prescribed different treatments, including an oral medication and injections. As she waited to see how her disease would respond, Alyssa decided to continue working as an executive in public media.

At the same time, Alyssa began looking for ways to focus more on her health and well-being. She attended a retreat with Boarding for Breast Cancer, a non-profit organization that raises awareness about the disease through events and education. The retreat took place in Colorado and brought together breast cancer patients of all stages. Four women on the retreat were living with Stage 4 or metastatic breast cancer (MBC), including Alyssa.

The experience was eye-opening for Alyssa. “I didn’t know anybody my age that had MBC when I was diagnosed,” she says. When we think of a Stage 4 patient, we often picture a person who is ill and weak, she adds. But during the retreat, women with MBC were able to hike up a mountain and even go white water rafting.

“There’s a lot more nuance to the story of MBC than I think is represented,” Alyssa says.

Curiosity Sparks a Project

After returning home, Alyssa shared her experience with her best friend, Megan Monday. They wondered if similar retreats were available elsewhere, but designed specifically for MBC ‘thrivers,’ a term used by the community that refers to people living with MBC.

Alyssa also reflected on how the special memories from a retreat tended to fade quickly as people resumed their regular lives. But what if the event was set up so that MBC thrivers could bring their best friend along? “If you do it with somebody else who you still are going to hang out with after the retreat, there’s more opportunity to sort of pull that feeling through into a day-to-day, to put new tools and ideas into practice,” says Alyssa.

And there was another important reason to include friends: Cancer can be hard on them, too. “My best friend goes to doctor’s appointments with me and takes notes,” says Alyssa. “I want her to be supported because I depend on her for a lot of things.” While support systems for partners and children of cancer patients are widely available, finding those resources for friends isn’t as easy, Alyssa says.

Alyssa and Megan determined that the program they were envisioning didn’t already exist. And Alyssa realized that she needed to retire and focus full-time on caring for herself and her family. “But I also know myself, and my friend knows me, and I have a lot of creative mischief,” she says. “I needed a project.”

That project turned out to be a non-profit organization called Temple of Kinship. Founded by Alyssa and Megan in January 2024, the organization offers free-to-attend retreats for people with MBC and one friend.

With community donations and support from board members, Temple of Kinship held its first retreat in the fall of 2024. Twelve attendees participated in activities including therapeutic art workshops, exploring the nearby lake, and breathwork sessions. It was gratifying to see how the retreat enabled new connections for thrivers and their loved ones, Alyssa says. “I don’t think it’s easy to find somebody who you can relate to about the experience of trying to walk alongside your friend living with MBC.”

Connecting with ABCD

Though Alyssa was aware of ABCD: After Breast Cancer Diagnosis when she was first diagnosed, she didn’t become involved until she met Keeshia Jones, ABCD’s Director of Healthcare & Community Partnerships. Keeshia encouraged Alyssa to consider becoming a Mentor. Later, Alyssa met both Keeshia and ABCD Executive Director Ellen Friebert Schupper at the Wisconsin Cancer Collaborative conference.

Alyssa was inspired by Ellen and Keeshia’s commitment and enthusiasm. “I definitely want to be a part of what they do,” she recalls thinking. In December 2024, Alyssa joined six other women for ABCD’s inaugural MBC New Mentor Training.

Before long, Alyssa was matched with a Participant. “I think [she] just really, really needed to hear that somebody besides her had gone through multiple lines of treatment so quickly,” says Alyssa. She appreciates that ABCD makes it safe and easy to decline a match if a Mentor isn’t in a good place physically or emotionally to provide support.

In addition to ABCD, Alyssa also volunteers as a peer-to-peer support group co-leader for Metavivor, a non-profit organization focused on the needs of metastatic breast cancer patients.

Finding Tools to Thrive

A practicing Buddhist, Alyssa leans on meditation, mindfulness, art, and journaling to help manage the emotions around cancer. “I don’t think there’s one right way to thrive with MBC,” she says. Alyssa describes the disease as a paradox because it has brought both beauty and hardship into her life. “I think it is really important to find tools that help you live in the paradox of it,” she says. Through her work with ABCD and Metavivor, and by continuing to offer retreats through Temple of Kinship, Alyssa hopes to help others find the support they need.

And she tries to find moments of resilience and joy as she accepts living with uncertainty. Metastatic patients don’t get to ring the traditional bell signifying the end of treatment, but Alyssa has found a different way to mark milestones. “I celebrate every time I have a treatment,” she says. “Each infusion is a farewell party for cancer cells.”

Alyssa was diagnosed at 38 with Stage 3 breast cancer and then HR+ Stage 4 MBC in June 2022 at 41. 

(Photo Credit: Melodee Solomon)